Jokes
One
Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large
plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names,
and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for
some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly,
"Good morning Alex."
"Good morning pastor," replied the young man,
still focused on the plaque.
"Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men
and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large
plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which
service, the 8:30 or the 11:00?"
An exasperated mother, whose
son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect
to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run
in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For
Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
 | A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" |
| A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a
sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" |
| A father took his 5-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game. Then the father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence Day. The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!" |
| A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed trash against us." |
| After a church service on Sunday morning, a young
boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a
minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen." |
Nine-year-old Joey was asked
by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. Well, Mom, our teacher told
us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the
Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build
a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his
walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in
bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.
"Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught
you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher
did, you'd never believe it!"
The pastor was talking to a
group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his
talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven!" Suzy cried out.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked
the preacher.
"Six feet under!", yelled Little Johnny.